Legal Fingers ‘No Time For Tenderness’ CD 2012

Now, I’m going to blow my credibility totally here and come right out and say that I love a good dose of dirty, sleazy 80’s hair rock!!! “Appetite For Destruction” is in my top 10 favourite albums and Motley Crue’s “Shout At The Devil” still gets regular spins at Stygall Towers. I’m always up for some low slung guitar toting fuck and roll action. On the face of it Legal Fingers look like they’ll fit the bill nicely stating that they are putting “the sensual back into non-consensual”.

Listening to this eight track offering and it’s clear that many of the ingredients are in place…the guys can certainly play well enough, the guitars have a nice raspy sound and the songs all occupy that early Aerosmith meets Poison meets Faster Pussycat sleaze rock groove but something seems to be fundamentally lacking here. The first point of blame would have to be the vocals. Now, Vince Neil and Mike Monroe may not be the best singers in the world but they could certainly put together a killer melody and some massive choruses. Legal Fingers’ guitarist Wernie McCracken, who is credited on their Facebook page as also providing “sleazy spittin’” does little more than whine tunelessly across all eight of these tracks which is a shame, as a guitarist he is capable of rocking out some pretty decent and scything rock and roll riffs which are all crying out for some really powerful vocal hooks to lift them up.

The other point of contention here has to be the production. If the band were going for a “knocked out in a basement on a Friday night” kind of vibe they’ve certainly succeeded but where this kind of music needs to have a big, bold and brassy punch to it this sounds more like a cheap punk rock recording. The “thunderous hittin’ and pussy lickin’” (ahem) of drummer Jeagle is rendered pretty ineffectual sounding more like overspill from the band playing next door. The guy does have some decent chops and pushes the songs on pretty well but it’s all a bit thin and wispy to be honest and leaves me reaching for my copy of “Appetite…” to hear this stuff done properly.

There is a grain of potential here in all fairness. If these guys could invest a few more of their hard earned dollars into getting a killer recording and get someone in on vocals who could provide the knock-em-dead hooks these songs so desperately need then they could be serious sleaze contenders but right now there’s plenty of other bands out there doing this kind of thing a whole lot better.

Label: Maxed Out Recordz
Website: www.facebook.com/legalfingers

Scribed by: Ollie Stygall